Birds, Bugs, and Boats Behind

This gallery contains 23 photos.

Part III The Unlocking The day to go North came so very quickly and before I knew it, I was on a bus filled with strange faces, on my way to a place I honestly didn’t really feel like going … Continue reading


When You Weren’t Looking


It seems like there has been a lot of death around me lately.  Usually it’s not something I feel comfortable talking about but it’s been making me feel so much.  I’ve decided that maybe the best way to deal with these feelings is to write.

You hear about people dying in genocides, terrorist attacks, wars of religion etc. and it has become such a common occurrence that that now it no longer phases us.  Not one of us remembers the faces of the dead who bare no names.  Not one of us remembers the names of the of the dead who bare no connection to our world.  We go on like nothing is happening.  We live in a paradise, with our backs to the shadows.

Sometimes death will hit very close to home.  It’s harder to ignore.  Yet I’ve noticed that somehow we are all still withdrawn, even once death has now made itself very real.  Even once death has touched us.  Is it all the death on the news, in the movies, and in our games?  Or is it normal?  Is it normal that no one seems to ache for the loss of precious lives?  Or is it weird to feel such anguish, when you have no connection to the deceased?

I am sure people do feel something when strangers pass but they have just become so skilled at isolating themselves from it.

I know I am not alone in feeling such pain for the dead.  I know I am not alone in feeling such pain for their families.  I know I am not alone in wishing I could fix what was broken… but I feel so empty.  What is the point?  Why are the least deserving taken the earliest?  Who decides their fate?  I am sure that is not the choice they would have made.

Life is so fleeting, so beautiful, and so full of pain.  It is a light in the darkness that you weren’t sure you saw.  It is that taste in your mouth that you can’t seem to place.  Life is time that passed when you weren’t looking and now you can’t remember where you’ve come from.  And in the end, it doesn’t really matter, because it’ll all be gone once you get where you’re going.

I think it’s really disturbing that at one moment, everything could be fine.  Then in a second later, the world flips, and you’re gone; as fast as sparks flying up from the fire.  There is no goodbye, the end comes too fast.

Now here I am by myself, crying for all the people I don’t know and never will.  I am thinking of all the things they’ll never see, all the things they’ll never do, and always wondering why they weren’t supposed to.

Love is More Than Just Two People

This gallery contains 28 photos.

Love is more than just two people.  Love is a connection to something bigger.  I can see that now. I’ve been going for a lot of walks with my camera lately and everything seems so much more alive than ever … Continue reading


Stream Of Consciousness no.1

The hearts of men are thirsty, beating, and impulsive.  Longing for the unknown, the undefined, and the untouched.  Something new, something old, something better than what we hold.  Angry are these hearts who can’t find their way.  They grow tense, they grow cold, and before they know it, they are old.  The heart is more than just an organ pumping blood through some veins.  The heart is something that we can not explain.  So many things fill up our hearts, and sadly some of them stain very dark.  I haven’t figured out a remedy for this.  Maybe some good bleach, a knife and a kiss…? Don’t you get like that sometimes?  Wanting to just rip out your heart and get a new one.  Maybe you’d forget all the feelings that got you here in the first place.  But how long does a pure heart last?  Does it even exist or has it been stained by our nature?  I really would like to know.  But more importantly, can you save it?  I don’t see why we should all be doomed.  Perhaps we are though and I guess some just deal with it better than others.  I always wondered how people lost their minds.  It is a funny image if you think about it.  I often picture it as the mind floating out of the body and up into the sky, much like a lost balloon that has slipped from the grasp of a small child. Once noticed, it is too late and far beyond their reach so they just stand there, helpless, watching it float away into the clouds.

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Everything Happens for a Reason


It may seem cliché and overused but it is true, everything does happen for a reason.  Every little thing from knocking a glass over, to meeting someone on the street all has a meaning and a purpose.  You probably won’t even realize the power and significance of a single moment until you reflect back on it, usually a long time after.

Not everything that happens to us is nice or enjoyable.  Rather, many occurrences in life can be quite terrible and unfortunate.  However, it is my belief that most of these terrible, unfortunate events NEED to happen for specific reasons.  I have often mentioned this out loud and have been deemed cruel and uncaring but that is okay.  I am not sorry for trying to make sense of the negative in a positive way.  Life, for no reason, was meant to be easy.  Life was meant to be hard because if it were easy, we wouldn’t learn anything at all and there would be no point in living.

Life is like a pond, with many different stones of all shapes and sizes being thrown into it.  Each stone causes ripples, each of a different magnitude.   After all the stones have fallen in, the pond’s surface regains its smooth composure as though nothing had happened.  Down in the bottom those stones rest, as memories.  When you look at this image in your mind, imagine that the stones are key events and the ripples are the aftermath.  If the stones had not fallen in, the ripples would never have occurred and if the ripples had never occurred, the pond would be empty.

There is always something that is going to happen to you and you may or may not like it.  However, you must not forget that these are the things that give you substance.  These events are the building blocks of who you are to become and what you have the possibility to be capable of.  There are no mistakes, there are only limitless possibilities.






The Storm That Built Us (a short ponder)

Life is filled with many things.  It is a journey we all travel, yet our paths are not all the same.  Hardships and good times will bury us in emotion.  Some of us will have lives with less balance and for some, it will be a pretty smooth ride.  However, despite all of our differences, we all have a storm that we must get through.

The storm is something in this life that no one can escape; for the storm rages inside of us.  This storm teaches us.  It teaches us the art of compassion, forgiveness, kindness, acceptance, and appreciation among many other essential values.  The storm may not be fair, and it sure as hell may not be kind but it is necessary.  “Why is it necessary?” you might ask.  Well for many reasons, and most importantly, our growth as emotional beings.

Lots of us will wonder why, and many of us won’t ever get an answer that satisfies us.  Nothing is for certain and not many people are comfortable with that.

Life is jam packed full of emotion; Emotion that makes you shiver, emotion that makes you scream, dance, cry, and laugh.  Life is nothing without this emotion.  It is an empty house on an empty avenue, with no one to turn the lights on.  I would like to think that perhaps it is the storm that causes us to shiver with ecstasy; for without the storm, we may not be human at all.

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