Well holy crap. Who would have thought I would be leaving my blog again once I was finally back in the habit of writing a bit more frequently? Definitely not me. However, sometimes things happen and that’s just the way … Continue reading →
There ended up being quite a few pictures I took that did not get inserted into my blog posts about my Kootenay travels so here are a few more of my favourites for your enjoyment. Here are a couple of … Continue reading →
Part III The Unlocking The day to go North came so very quickly and before I knew it, I was on a bus filled with strange faces, on my way to a place I honestly didn’t really feel like going … Continue reading →
Part II.V (A surprise addition to my three part story) The Unexpected It was getting very close to me leaving for the North when one of my aunts surprised us with a visit. With her, were a couple really cool … Continue reading →
Part II The Unlearning What began as an innocent dip of my toes into what my dad likes to call the “boat life”, became a complete lifestyle transformation. I lived in rolled up jeans and bare feet, showering became a … Continue reading →
Alas, I have returned. I guess it has been about seven months since I’ve posted anything really but it wasn’t just a break from my blog… I ended up taking a whole break from my entire life as some would … Continue reading →
Have you ever simply closed your eyes and just listened to the breeze? Listened to the whistling of the leaves and that quiet in between? There really isn’t anything else like it. It carries you away on a lighthearted symphony that is so soft and so free. Take a moment and come along with me.
When you’re here, there’s never any rush. Take your time, and embrace it all. Look around you, breathe it all in. This is beauty in its rawest form and you are here to witness it. Listen to every chirp, every groan, and every creak. Let every sound, smell, and sight fill you up. Lay in it and let it hold you.
What you are witnessing is a living, breathing masterpiece; a muse eternal.
I have never felt a love, a joy, or a sense of wonder like this. Nothing can compare. I am whole here and there isn’t a worry in the world.
So close your eyes and take a moment. Take it now. What you’re missing is floating on the wind.
Fear is a large blanket, covered in many different scenarios. Fear means many things to many people. For me fear is the movement of six little legs, moving my way. Fear is standing on the peak of my favourite mountain, looking down, and trying not to let the edge pull me off. It is the affection of a lover from whom I have yet to gain trust. Fear comes to me in the form of a compliment I do not believe. Fear is not knowing what is lurking in the shadows when I am alone in the eve’. Fear is opening up my doors and dropping all of my walls with a very great chance of being burned. I am afraid of moments like this, writing a post, where I fear I am unable to outdo my last one. Fear is that moment when my heart nearly stops in my chest and I don’t know what to do next to change the path of the situation. Fear is the bane of my existence. The thing that holds me back from all of the wild adventure in the unknown. Fear for me is the word “no” when “yes” should be the only answer.
Mashing the back of the fork down on top of the eggs is my favourite part. I love to watch the yellow yolk as it streams out over the toast like syrup. I smile at mum as she comes over to cut the toast and eggs into little pieces for me before heading back to bed. It is the early morning, I am four, and these poached eggs on toast are my favourite meal. There’s just something about the toast, the gooeyness of the egg, and the flavour of the pepper that just captivates the senses. I don’t care that no one is sitting here with me, for I am too immersed in the enjoyment of this moment. The warmth is filling up inside my belly as each tasty bit finds its way into my mouth and I fall in love. Finally the inevitable happens and I have eaten it all. I am saddened once no egg bits remain so I stay seated, staring at my empty plate. Why couldn’t that moment have just lasted a little bit longer?
Today, I am nineteen, and these poached eggs on toast are still my favourite meal. However, my plate need no longer remain empty, for I can reach the stove.
Fear resides inside of us. The fear of “I’m not good enough” and “What will __ think?”. These are the fears of the fully capables and the doubtfuls; the creatives, and the brains. These are the fears of you and I, the fears of the girl in the craft aisle as she sets down the paints. These are the fears of the man outside the music shop, looking in wistfully at the guitar inside. These are the fears of the business man in the tattoo parlor, the cashier singing in the shower, and the boy down the road who’s hiding his paintings. Why is creativity so intimidating? Why do we believe that our creations should be the same as those of an artist we look up to? And why the hell isn’t my stuff as good as that writer over there? Well that’s simply because we decided that for ourselves.
This fear we are constantly worrying about isn’t real. Not even that fear of what someone will think of that wacky outfit that you love but don’t wear. And no, not just the creative fears. We live in a weird world where everyone is afraid. We are afraid to dress, afraid to eat, afraid to dance, afraid to laugh, sing, speak, play, and simply be ourselves. And who created this nonsense? No one but us of course. I say this reign of nonsensical fear must end.
We must slip out from beneath our cloaks of doubt, and slip eager toes into the basin of possibility. We must shout out our passion from the rooftops and run through the streets without a care. We must forget about the thoughts of others and instead spend a lot more time in our own minds. What is YOUR opinion? What is YOUR passion? Who are YOU and who could YOU be? I am not saying we shut our minds off to the ideas of others but we must not ever forget our own.
I'm a woman in my 40's and finally feeling that I know who I am and why I am, I would like to share the shadows from my life. Having got here fairly intact and along the way found the ability to take a step back and see things more clearly it is my hope that perhaps by blogging I may help others through their own dark places.