As it happens to be the last day of 2015, I decided it would be fitting to write a year-end post. When looking back on years past, I would have to say that this has been my most inspiring, productive, … Continue reading
Take a step back Back into the unknown Into what used to be but never was And what used to keep you up at night alone Take a step back And look forward Take on a new perspective And look … Continue reading
Things get a little dim sometimes; lost in transition. You’ve got to take a moment every so often to get back what you hid in the shadows. Spinning and spinning until fragments of yourself fall, giving way to what lies beneath. Raw and vulnerable, without your shell, you have forgotten what it is to be guarded. The walls you used to keep high have disappeared and you can’t even place when it happened. You don’t even remember what it was like to be so withdrawn.
You had never known you could become so jaded. You never knew that it could go away either. But you did, and it has.
The world around you is just as cold and dangerous as before, but you don’t care. You see what is beautiful and you are basking in it. It can’t hurt you anymore. The lights are out, but you can see it all so much more clearly than before. The limitless horizon is open before you. Run into it. Don’t bother to look back, it’s all behind you now and what is to come can only be better. You weren’t supposed to stay behind if that’s not where you find yourself today. Move forward, let it go.
Those thoughts you’re having – the anxiety, the pain, the fear, the self-consciousness – let them go. You are who you are and that is all you need to be. Let yourself go, give into yourself and move to the beat of your passions. You won’t let anyone ever make you feel small again, you won’t even consider letting them.
The seriousness is all a joke, none of it really matters in the end. All that matters is that you smiled, if even just to yourself. A smile makes up for every bad thing in your day, every negative thought. When they come up, just smile. None of that matters, push it away with a smile and move on. People have a very hard time moving on from these small, simple nuances during their days and over time, these things accumulate into a darkness that sits inside. They put up walls and guard their hearts against the world so much so, that not even the good can get in anymore. Where did you go?
Alas, I have returned. I guess it has been about seven months since I’ve posted anything really but it wasn’t just a break from my blog… I ended up taking a whole break from my entire life as some would … Continue reading
It seems like there has been a lot of death around me lately. Usually it’s not something I feel comfortable talking about but it’s been making me feel so much. I’ve decided that maybe the best way to deal with these feelings is to write.
You hear about people dying in genocides, terrorist attacks, wars of religion etc. and it has become such a common occurrence that that now it no longer phases us. Not one of us remembers the faces of the dead who bare no names. Not one of us remembers the names of the of the dead who bare no connection to our world. We go on like nothing is happening. We live in a paradise, with our backs to the shadows.
Sometimes death will hit very close to home. It’s harder to ignore. Yet I’ve noticed that somehow we are all still withdrawn, even once death has now made itself very real. Even once death has touched us. Is it all the death on the news, in the movies, and in our games? Or is it normal? Is it normal that no one seems to ache for the loss of precious lives? Or is it weird to feel such anguish, when you have no connection to the deceased?
I am sure people do feel something when strangers pass but they have just become so skilled at isolating themselves from it.
I know I am not alone in feeling such pain for the dead. I know I am not alone in feeling such pain for their families. I know I am not alone in wishing I could fix what was broken… but I feel so empty. What is the point? Why are the least deserving taken the earliest? Who decides their fate? I am sure that is not the choice they would have made.
Life is so fleeting, so beautiful, and so full of pain. It is a light in the darkness that you weren’t sure you saw. It is that taste in your mouth that you can’t seem to place. Life is time that passed when you weren’t looking and now you can’t remember where you’ve come from. And in the end, it doesn’t really matter, because it’ll all be gone once you get where you’re going.
I think it’s really disturbing that at one moment, everything could be fine. Then in a second later, the world flips, and you’re gone; as fast as sparks flying up from the fire. There is no goodbye, the end comes too fast.
Now here I am by myself, crying for all the people I don’t know and never will. I am thinking of all the things they’ll never see, all the things they’ll never do, and always wondering why they weren’t supposed to.
Have you ever simply closed your eyes and just listened to the breeze? Listened to the whistling of the leaves and that quiet in between? There really isn’t anything else like it. It carries you away on a lighthearted symphony that is so soft and so free. Take a moment and come along with me.
When you’re here, there’s never any rush. Take your time, and embrace it all. Look around you, breathe it all in. This is beauty in its rawest form and you are here to witness it. Listen to every chirp, every groan, and every creak. Let every sound, smell, and sight fill you up. Lay in it and let it hold you.
What you are witnessing is a living, breathing masterpiece; a muse eternal.
I have never felt a love, a joy, or a sense of wonder like this. Nothing can compare. I am whole here and there isn’t a worry in the world.
So close your eyes and take a moment. Take it now. What you’re missing is floating on the wind.