Goodbye 2015: I’ll Never Forget You

As it happens to be the last day of 2015, I decided it would be fitting to write a year-end post. When looking back on years past, I would have to say that this has been my most inspiring, productive, … Continue reading

Rambling Nonsense on a Friday Night

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Sometimes it can feel like you are floating through life; the expectations that others have for you, weighing heavy on your thoughts.  You don’t know where you are going, and maybe only have a faint idea of where you would like to go but that isn’t good enough.  It’s not good enough for the hungry questions they keep asking you.  It’s not enough for the questioning and sometimes disappointed looks in their eyes.  According to them, you never made it and they feel responsible.  They feel responsible for some sick and selfish reason, that honestly has nothing to do with them.

Honesty aside, it possibly does have something to do with them.  If they weren’t always trying to steer you in the “right” direction and their expectations weren’t burning holes into you at night, then maybe you would have had a better idea of what YOU actually want.  Maybe, you might actually already be where you want to be (or maybe it would be easier to realize that you are there already).  It doesn’t matter if you have some big title, fancy house, and/or a wife and three kids.  No, it doesn’t matter if you have all your money organized, and put away into pretty little accounts, so you can go away on weekends.  It doesn’t matter if you fit into this nice little box of what it means to be an adult. None of that matters, unless it truly matters to YOU and you alone.

If you’re happy working odd jobs, travelling the world and living in your car…  being colourful or quiet or weird. If you dropped out of college because it just didn’t feel right… or if you never went at all, because you just couldn’t seem to fathom it, though everyone kept telling you that’s where you ought to be… If you’re happy with how you have chosen to move forward in life, then stop being unhappy because other people think that you should be.

Stop wasting time, waiting for the future that others have planned for you.  Go out there and just be you.  You don’t owe anyone a single thing.  There’s only one person you owe, and that person is yourself.  You owe yourself the motivation to do what is right for you, and the strength to stand by that.  You owe yourself kind words of support and optimism.  You owe yourself the chance to get off of the hamster wheel and to go to where you feel the most yourself.  You don’t really owe yourself much, but it’s worth a lifetime.

Birds, Bugs, and Boats Behind

This gallery contains 23 photos.

Part III The Unlocking The day to go North came so very quickly and before I knew it, I was on a bus filled with strange faces, on my way to a place I honestly didn’t really feel like going … Continue reading

Birds, Bugs, and Boats… and Nelsolonika?

This gallery contains 18 photos.

Part II.V (A surprise addition to my three part story) The Unexpected It was getting very close to me leaving for the North when one of my aunts surprised us with a visit.  With her, were a couple really cool … Continue reading

Birds, Bugs, and Boats Cont.

This gallery contains 39 photos.

Part II The Unlearning What began as an innocent dip of my toes into what my dad likes to call the “boat life”, became a complete lifestyle transformation.  I lived in rolled up jeans and bare feet, showering became a … Continue reading

Birds, Bugs, and Boats

Alas, I have returned.  I guess it has been about seven months since I’ve posted anything really but it wasn’t just a break from my blog… I ended up taking a whole break from my entire life as some would … Continue reading

False Presumptions

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It takes more than a night to know somebody.  More than a kiss to know their true colours.  Who they are is but a whisper, clouded in by false pretenses and old habits.  How do you ever really know someone, and when is a good time to turn the other way?

Each one of us has a story, with parts that turn raw and gory.  And we are ashamed.  We should not be afraid of what lurks within our emotions or what makes us feel alive.  What is wrong with a little raw humanity and just doing something because you want to?  It doesn’t have to mean more than the simplest of things but it also doesn’t have to mean that we don’t care.  Who decides whether or not it should be complicated?

We live in a world where we are told that there are always strings attached.  We don’t want to owe anyone anything.

We live in a world where one misstep tells a person that you are just like all the rest.  We are afraid.

We are afraid of the things we want to trust, the things we wish we were brave enough to pull close.  We are laying alone at night, thinking of that person who we think should be the last thing on our minds.  We live in a world where we can’t tell that person anything that we are feeling because it is considered weak and desperate.

When will it be okay to be honest?  When will it be okay to just feel a little?

When You Weren’t Looking

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It seems like there has been a lot of death around me lately.  Usually it’s not something I feel comfortable talking about but it’s been making me feel so much.  I’ve decided that maybe the best way to deal with these feelings is to write.

You hear about people dying in genocides, terrorist attacks, wars of religion etc. and it has become such a common occurrence that that now it no longer phases us.  Not one of us remembers the faces of the dead who bare no names.  Not one of us remembers the names of the of the dead who bare no connection to our world.  We go on like nothing is happening.  We live in a paradise, with our backs to the shadows.

Sometimes death will hit very close to home.  It’s harder to ignore.  Yet I’ve noticed that somehow we are all still withdrawn, even once death has now made itself very real.  Even once death has touched us.  Is it all the death on the news, in the movies, and in our games?  Or is it normal?  Is it normal that no one seems to ache for the loss of precious lives?  Or is it weird to feel such anguish, when you have no connection to the deceased?

I am sure people do feel something when strangers pass but they have just become so skilled at isolating themselves from it.

I know I am not alone in feeling such pain for the dead.  I know I am not alone in feeling such pain for their families.  I know I am not alone in wishing I could fix what was broken… but I feel so empty.  What is the point?  Why are the least deserving taken the earliest?  Who decides their fate?  I am sure that is not the choice they would have made.

Life is so fleeting, so beautiful, and so full of pain.  It is a light in the darkness that you weren’t sure you saw.  It is that taste in your mouth that you can’t seem to place.  Life is time that passed when you weren’t looking and now you can’t remember where you’ve come from.  And in the end, it doesn’t really matter, because it’ll all be gone once you get where you’re going.

I think it’s really disturbing that at one moment, everything could be fine.  Then in a second later, the world flips, and you’re gone; as fast as sparks flying up from the fire.  There is no goodbye, the end comes too fast.

Now here I am by myself, crying for all the people I don’t know and never will.  I am thinking of all the things they’ll never see, all the things they’ll never do, and always wondering why they weren’t supposed to.

Close Your Eyes

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Have you ever simply closed your eyes and just listened to the breeze?  Listened to the whistling of the leaves and that quiet in between?  There really isn’t anything else like it.  It carries you away on a lighthearted symphony that is so soft and so free.  Take a moment and come along with me.

When you’re here, there’s never any rush.  Take your time, and embrace it all.  Look around you, breathe it all in.  This is beauty in its rawest form and you are here to witness it.  Listen to every chirp, every groan, and every creak.  Let every sound, smell, and sight fill you up.  Lay in it and let it hold you.

What you are witnessing is a living, breathing masterpiece; a muse eternal.

I have never felt a love, a joy, or a sense of wonder like this.  Nothing can compare.  I am whole here and there isn’t a worry in the world.

So close your eyes and take a moment. Take it now.  What you’re missing is floating on the wind.

Into the Wild

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My senses are alive with the fragrant aroma and magnificent view.

I am consumed.

I have given myself over to something larger.

Something wild and untouchable.

Something so alive, so powerful.

It is all dancing.  It is singing.

No, she does not dance for you.  Nor does she sing for me.  This is a piece presented for no one and that is the most beautiful thing about it.

 

 

 

 

© All pictures and words are my own.