Time is passing so quickly that I am hardly able to keep track. It’s good though, this speed at which time is going. I am tired of the cold, city winter. Only a couple of weeks before I can actually go enjoy the snow and frosty air the way it was meant to be enjoyed!
Unfortunately, I won’t be able to enjoy it for long but I am really looking forward to getting away. I am more than ready for a bit of a break from society and how stressed I manage to make myself feel while I’m here. If I am being honest, the stress is all just in my head. Things aren’t going badly at all, I am just good at feeling pressed for time or like something terrible is about to happen. It’s so silly and I know that it is. It’s also not fair to anyone who has to be around me at any given time. I need to just slow down and be present; be right here in this exact moment.
There’s something about being in the “hustle and bustle” of it all. It makes you go a little crazy… and not the good kind. There’s this silent push to be somewhere, doing something, even if you don’t really need to be going anywhere or doing anything. Because of this, I find I actually don’t get very much done at all as I seem to be chasing tasks that don’t need doing and the ones I really should be focusing on (and would rather be focusing on) get put on the back burner at home for another day, another month, another year.
Why does being here make me feel this way? Is it brainwashing? Maybe. I wonder if anyone else is feeling this too. Come to think of it, maybe I am just feeling the winter blues haha.
Anyway, whatever the case may be, I have hope that some time spent snowshoeing in the trees with some snacks and lots of hot cocoa can remedy this feeling and I can come back to myself. If I am lucky, maybe I can bring myself back with me. I miss that kind, ambitiously creative, and motivated girl who found herself in the woods. I know she’s around somewhere.