The Birth of Negativity

Ma Life 055

Where does our negativity come from?  Many, like myself, choose to believe that it is caused by other people.  Which, in a certain sense, is slightly true.  The other side of this, which many of us choose to ignore, is that it is our fault that we let it in in the first place.  For me, I have this dreadful habit of never sticking up for myself and standing behind my beliefs.  I don’t have this problem due to uncertainty, just good old fear.  Fear of what comes from telling the truth.  As silly as that is, it is true, and I believe that there are many others out there like me who would rather avoid the confrontation.

This habit of mine is so dreadful, not only because I let others trample over me without a fight, but because this anger slowly builds up inside of me and boils in my blood.  As it boils it runs from hurt, to anger, to hate, and finally to loathing.  And still I say nothing.

I often imagine opening my mouth and letting my feelings poor out, but instead I clench my jaw in fear.  I always regret not saying anything.  Especially since if I had said something, I wouldn’t be lingering on the situation for any longer than needed and then no evil would fester up inside of me.

I am not a negative person but am easily affected by the negativity around me.  I need to stop sitting in silence and taking the negativity others throw at me and speak up for once in my life. I need to stop doing everything for other people and worrying about what they think and just do things for me. It won’t be until then that I find the happiness I am seeking and I know this.

 

How do you battle your negativity?

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